Go and victorious?

"Go and be victorious."
4 words ever so popular in the Old Testament. I thought it will remain in the old testament but strangely enough I heard it again. And for a moment I thought it was God who was speaking to me.
It was an hour before the choir competition started. At first I was a little cautious but I nearly could confirm it was the voice of God. Weirdly, I didn't realise i was still restless nevertheless. I didn't realise the doubt that is in me. But I resolve to beolive it was God that said that to me when we prayed together as a choir in the bus.
Fast forward.
" Tempat ketiga dimenangi SMK St. Theresa!"
I was overjoyed at that point. Iknew this was it. St. Theresa, whom I thought was our fierce competitor was knocked out of the running. I clapped loud and hard.
"Tempat kedua dimenangi sekolah number 11...."
What? Was there a mistake? No.. no..
"SMK Batu Lintang!"
I was in utter shock. Utter shock. I couldn't believe my ears. Forget about the moment when mucus flooded my throat and blocked my airways till I nearly couldn't sing. Forget about the little moments when we may have rushed. Forget about my moments of worry. Sure I was sad immediately. Yet what bugged me after that was not that we lost but that little voice that I thought was GOd.
I was broken to pieces to say the least. I was 99.9999999% sure it was God. But God never lies. That means that wasn't God. Big deal? Big deal indeed. There are only a few times when I was that sure. I remembered one was when I was deciding whether I should join EBC camp and another camp. God says the other camp. My friend got saved.
Maybe you still don't understand but I'm so depressed that God's voice seem so elusive. I just don't know what is and is not His voice. How did the prophets listen to Him? How did the apostles do that? What those it mean by the Holy Spirit speaking through you? Lord, why can't I hear you?!
I'm tired. I rested but still find no relief. I got piano tonight and I'm even sure whether I have the strength to even play. I got exams coming up tomorrow and I'm only 1 quarter prepared. Am I going to be wiped out in this week? Just 2 weeks after a spiritual victory in church? Only time will tell. By the time you read this post, tomorrow will most probably become past. I don't what else to say.

Pray for me. My spiritual defences are thrown wide open. I will never allow Satan to come in.