My favourite songs this Christmas. Enjoy!



We Are The Reason-David Meece

As little children we would dream of
Christmas morn and all the gifts and toys
we knew we'd find,
but we never realised a baby born one blessed
night gave us the greatest gift of our lives.


Chorus:
We are the reason that He gave His life,
we are the reason that He suffered and died,
to a world that was lost, He gave all He could
live to show us the reason to live.


Verse 2:
As the years go by we learned more
about gifts, giving of ourselves
And what that means.
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying
in the rain because of love, because of love.


Bridge:
I've finally found a reason for living,
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him,
In all that I do, every word that I say,
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him.


Chorus 2:
And we are the reason that He gave His life,
we are the reason that He suffered and died,
to a world that was lost,
He gave all He could give,
to show us the reason to live.
He is my reason to live.

©1980 Word Music, Inc. (a div. of Word Music Group, Inc.)
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
CCLI song #18682

Remember Me by Mark Schultz

Remember me In a Bible cracked and faded by the years
Remember me In a santuary filled with silent prayers
CHORUS:
And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder, Child of God
I'll remember you
Remember Me

Remember me
When the color of the sunset fills the sky
Remember me
When you pray and the tears of joy fall from your eyes

CHORUS

Remember me
When the children leave their Sunday school with smiles
Remember me
When they're old enough to teach
Old enough to preach
Old enough to leave

CHORUS

Age to age and heart to heart Child of wonder child of God
Remember me
Age to age and heart to heart Child of wonder child of God

Tagged

Games rules and regulations

Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tag. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.You must add the one who tagged you, then spread it to 8 people, let the game go on, returning the tag to sender is prohibited.



1. What was your childhood dream?
To have a lovely spouse, settle down, have money to spend and have a wonderful family.


2. Do you like rainy or a sunny days?
Sunshine or rain, I'm just the same. But I love rainy days because it is more bearable especially to sleep or nap.


3.Which colour is your favourite?
I love blue but only a certain type or so but i don't know what is it called. I like green and purple and orange and golden yellow and red and.. I think I like every colour but if it is to vote, let it be blue. Shalom.


4. If you've the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
"I love you just the way you are. "

5. Which place have you wanted to visit the most?
I would say the Islands of Malaysia. I really want to experience the beauty as they say of these beaches.

6. Which part of you do you hate most?
My brain. It functions too slow and most of the time, i do not know what is it thinking when it does what it does.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
"I will sing; I will praise". Three things: Sing, pray and sleep. Usually only when things are rather serious then i would tell others. So make sure you pay attention when i tell you something.

8. What are you most afraid of losing?
My relationship with my family and my friends i supposed. With my circle so small now, i can't bear being alone. But i guess nothing compares to losing my memory. It is when you are the most vulnerable. I can't imagine forgetting all i learnt about God and His love.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her or would you just keep it as a secret in your heart, observing by yourself?
Well, for now, I would say i will keep it to myself. It is unbearable but i know how incapable i am in managing the most complex human relationship in life. Maybe when i mature and is ready to take up such a huge responsibility then i will confess whatever the risk. For now, i'll just try my best to be the other person's guardian angel.

10. List out 3 good points of the one who tagged you.
1. Easy to talk to
2. Open
3. Nice falsetto

11. What are the requirements that you are hoping for in your other half?
Maybe i need to write another post on this

12.Till now, what moment do you regret the most?
The moments i fail to control myself, especially my temper. You probably won't see it because you are not my brother. I just hate it when not only i can't control my temper, i can't control what i say, or rather the lack of it.

13. What type of person do you hate most?
I hate people who only think of themselves and fail to consider other's plight. I also hate procrastinators also but i'm also one myself.

14. What is your ambition?
If my ambition should be based on what i'm good at, i would say none. Well, over the years, i have received comments on what i have potential in like speaking in public (only for those who heard though), singing, playing piano and even leadership. Yet because i'm not passionate enough to transform potential into goods, it remains just that: Potential. I like psychology and areas involving speaking though.

15. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
I don't believe there are bad people, even if i would use the adjective at times but i rather say misguided. Anyways, i suppose people who know what is wrong yet continue to do so for thier own sake.

16. If you can have 1 dream granted, what would it be?
To be wiser than Solomon? Tempting but i suppose is to have a whole Jesus-perspective of people and things. Wait... that's a desire... dream? To see all Christians singing passionately for Jesus everywhere they go.

17. What do you think is most important in your life?
Jesus. Without him, i won't be where i am now.

18. At what age do you wish to marry?
If my relatives were to ask me now, i would say 25. No specific reason but i feel it is better to marry young.. haha.. not so much about the fertility part though.. But most important is to consider whether i fulfill three important factors: Do I have God's blessing? Am I mature enough? Am I committed?

19. What do you want as your Christmas present?
All of Max Lucado's books if you please. Or a laptop will do.. how about a skateboard? Roller skate? Come on, I never played them before.

20. This is my question: What am I doing here? What is my purpose of life?
Honestly, i don't know.

Now, let me tag this to:

1. Joan Wong
2. Ambrose Wong
3. Dennis Ling
4. Ernest Soo
5. Florence Goh
6. Fiona Tan
7. Bernard Chieng
8. Lai Wei Yei

... not that they have or blog or anything.. even if they do, they don't know mine.. ha ha..

My Year-end trips- a conclusion

Sometimes, when you take too long to blog about something, it is as if the event lost its significance. Like my vacation and the youth camp, it's like you don't feel like blogging about it anymore.

Well, i think i'll just write a synopsis about both here then.
Penang-Cameron trip.
It was the best trip i ever had and I mean it. Yes, i been to Australia and it was better than Penang but i didn't really get to enjoy the place because of one of my past phobias which those close to me will know. This time in Penang, it did happen again but not that bad and a lot of time i manage to subdue it in Jesus name. So I can enjoy the lovely food there, especially in TGI Fridays, love that place a lot. Got proffessional workers too.

And i learnt a lot from my trip here. I learn more about Geography and History. Regret not coming earlier, i could have been Geo and Sej pro if I did, just hope my bro didn't miss this chance to learn.

I also made new friends, especially with Uncle Ronnie. Will always remember his famous quote to me while we were speaking, :"You can choose your wife but you can't choose your parents". I will definitely not love someone so blindly till i can't even tell my right hand from my left. If I do, faithful friends out there, please do me a favour and knock the senses back to me.

I also got to watch my first English Premier League on Astro. Too bad Chelsea lost to Arsenal that day.

I got to see new places, know the culture, albeit only a bit, of West Malaysians. I did come back with a renewed determiantion to fight the good fight.

I also managed to share about God too but I won't say how. Just want to challenge you to do the same on your trips.


Youth Camp.
Uncle Maclean Patrick. Boy, he is a great speaker. I learnt a lot from him. The most profound thing i learnt from him is this interesting quote

"What are you doing here?"

Indeed, what are we doing in the youth camp? He asked that so many times, i just nearly exploded and said:" I'm here to experience God and seek Him!!". I would have exploded if he pointed the question to me. It also made me sad that this question wasn't asked earlier. I would have asked for night curfews on the campers and tougher rules so that the camp's main objective, that is learning more about God will not be compromised. :(

Conclusion: These 2 activities have shaped the way I think and i hope it is everlasting and not just hangat-hangat tahi ayam. Pray for me!

Cameron highlands, a place of cool air and beautiful greens... and red strawberries..

Yeap.. the third day of my vacation will be spent in Cameron Highlands. The journey there is about 5 hours. 2 hours plus across the Highway to Ipoh and 2 more hours up the hilly highlands to Tanah Rata, Cameron, Pahang.

Our guide for the trip is Uncle Ronnie. Since I'm kinda prone to getting dizzy when in a car (and because i vomitted 14 years ago when going up Blue Mountain, Sydney), my parents ask that I sit in front.. with Uncle Ronnie.. This put me in a rather awkward position. I love to talk to adults but I'm also very shy around them too. Anyways, could be a divine appointment.

So the journey began. The journey of a vacation and a friendship.

Throughout the journey Uncle Ronnie and I kept talking. He tells me a lot about the areas we past by. He says Taiping is Malaysia's wettest spot. It rains almost everyday. Even more interesting, there was even some time ago when oldies will just gather at the kopitiam to bet at what time will it rain. The winner gets a cup of coffee. Haha..

Ipoh on the other hand is full of limestone hills. So much there is even space for cave temples there. Since mineral content in the soil is high, plants also grow quite fat.. or at least the beansprout i eaten.. but food there is not bad too..

Bee farm. My first stop in Cameron. It was rather dizzling there so didn't really see much. Rest assured, there are lots of flowers to attract bees and bees to extract the flowers and poof! It became honey in containers! They sell herbal eggs there too. Oh ya, here's when a funny story occured.

My mom's friend was in the mini canteen when she saw someone cooking something. Ah, the aroma that filled her nose was just so tempting? She thought it was meat or some delicious food that is sold. Wanting to buy, she asked the cook:"What is this?(luckily not:"how much")".

The cook replied:" This for the dogs."

Haha.. anyways.. If you are ever planning to go to Cameron be warned: Bring your sweater! The wind there is cold alright. But if it blows that is. I thought I was man enough to withstand it. And boy what surprise it was to have such cold wind blowing at my face. Luckily, I was brilliant enough to have a jacket on my back.

If you go Cameron, a good place to visit will be at the Pasar Malam in Brinchang. Got food and toys (souvenirs). Prices are almost the same too. The only thing is if you want the best price make sure you explore every stall first. Some may sell 12 for RM10 but some 13 for 10.

The Cactus Valley is a good place for plant lovers. Rose Garden is another recommended spot especially if you want to see the good scenery at the top (not for the unfit.. be sure to do some warm-ups!). The Boh Tea Plantation is a must see too. It is really an eye opener to see such a large plantation. But do not buy the tea there. It is said that tea there is more expensive than those sold outside.















There are also a lot of strawberry farm which you can pick your own strawberries. There a bit more expensive but at least all of them are in good conditions.. unless you pluck the wrong one.. you are not that stupid right? Just pick the red one la.. Too bad strawberries can't last long. Even in the refrigerator, it may only last one day. Oh ya, be careful not to touch the berry when you pluck. Just pluck the stem. Touching the berries can make it rot faster, for some reason.

Kea Farm quite near to Equatorial Hotel is also a good place to go. The restaurant offers good lunch while the best jam is there too. Rose Garden is also nearby.

And by the way, all around Cameron you will be surrounded by strawberries. Nope, not the real ones. It is the starwberry pillows, umbrella, fan, bolster, and even blantket that is sold almost everywhere.. and for some reaon, spongebob too..

That's all for now from me.. Just remember, wherever you go on vacation, make sure you go with a good guide. Then you may make the most of your vacation. Signing off.

Vacation-Penang, Food Paradise

Penang. Food paradise as they all imply. (well there are other things Penang is famous for but i can't remember what). Oh, ya.. by the way I'm back in Kuching. Cat city as they always say.
The flight to Penang on Airasia was satisfactory. Well, they got a nice hotdog on the flight whicj costs RM7!! And then we have Penang International airport which seems advance but looks very old-fashioned. Feels a little like the Xiamen International Airport I been to last year.
So I arrived at Penang at around 5pm, 30 minutes ahead of schedule. Not bad for Airasia right? Then, my family and I headed towards Gurney Drive. (Just in case you didn't know, Gurney Drive a popular tourist attraction which is by the seaside, well, to me, a lagoon side which commands a fascinating view with cool winds if you are living on the 21st floor in my mother's friends apartment like I did. If you are jogging along the pavement of the seaside which has little or no sand in a lovely afternoon, brace yourselves for a foul stench. If you are lucky, you'll see monitor lizards and mudskippers.) For your info also, Gurney drive was also hit by the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami abeit a minor one.
On the first night, we went to One Stop Midland shopping complex. It used to be a very popular shopping complex 6 or 7 years ago until shopping malls like Queensbay mall came into the fold. So we ate a great chinese restaurant. It cooks the best sald prawn I ever tasted. In fact, for a prawn-hater like me, I just can't help but want more.
On the second day, 13th December, we went to some hawker stalls for breakfast. We wanted to tasted Penang's renown char kuey tiaw. Unfortunately, the stall ain't operational on that day. So I had to settle for wanton mee, which has one or two kiaws and more noodles. Ain't that tasty if you ask me. After breakfast, we went city touring on a chartered tranpsort (a must if you want to make the most of your vacation.).
First stop, toy museum. Penang boast of the world's only second toy musuem. Containing toys worth millions of ringgit, this is a must see for toy lovers. It has the best collection of star wars toys too.
Next stop is is the Batik Factory. Nothing astonishing here. It just teaches you about how batik is created and you get to buy batik stuff here. One thing I learnt is that batik clothes are very original. If you find another person wearing the same batik shirt as you, you probably got an imitation.
Along the way to our next stop at the Tropical Fruit Garden some few hundred feet above sea level is Batu Ferringhi, the most captivating beach I seen so far. The sand and river is so so so so so clean. It looks absolutely beautiful. Strangely, there aren't any waves. On the way to the top of the hill to the Tropical Fruit Garden is one of Penang's 2 dams and many lush green trees. A good stop for photographers.
The Tropical Food Garden is a haven of local fruits. Did you know we have something called the custard apple in Malysia? Ok fine.. how about the buffalo horn nut? It is looks exactly like a buffulo horn., hence the name. At the end of the guided tour up the fruit hill, we got a treat of a fruit buffet. Sadly, no durians because the durian season there is around mid-year. Buffulo Horn Nut
After that, it is a trip to to the snake temple. As the name implies, it is a temple full of snakes, in cages that is. Of course there are a few on the loose but they don't too much. Most of the time, they play dead and are there just in you bizzarely want to take a photo with them. It is quite educational to be there. Lot's of information about snakes and dangers and precautions, only a RM3 entrance fee. Just remember, look at the info given, not just the those slimy wrigglers and it will be a trip well taken.
Oh ya, I forgot introduce our driver. His name is Mr. Khoo. A great guide if I may say so myself. Gives lot's of information and worth your money.
After the snake temple, we are off to another temple, Kek Lok Si Temple. Make no mistake, it isn't a place where they sell a type of non-exixtent cake called Lok Si. It in fact is the biggest temple in South-East Asia. It is huge! Even a Buddha statue can cost 75 million. That is around 18 of my church!!! But nothing much there except a panoramtic view of one side of the city. Oh ya, there a street descending downwards from there too. But as they are near the temple and may be contributing to temple funds, I decided not to buy anything
Finally, our last stop in Penang: The Coffee Tree. Well, you heard of Coffee Bean but it is nothing compared to Coffee Tree. No, not that coffee products grows on tree here. IT is actually just a shop selling lot's of types of coffee.. and chocolates. Better still, they let you taste each kind. Their white coffee is truly great! And their tiramisu chocolate is superb. This is one of the palces you most not but I guess most of the time will miss as it is not that famous for some reason.
That night, we went to Queensbay mall, the longest and largest mall in Penang. It's the first time I step into TGI Fridays and boy the food is super great! If you say Secret Recipe is nice, TGI Friday's is 3 times better. The price too. But if two sets of aroundRM 30+ can feed 5 mouths, why not? I can't wait for The Spring to open in Kuching.

Penang

Ah, going penang today... actually i struggle to whether ior not i should put this here... you know why? Because if i didn't buy present for you, you will asking and i feel pai sei.. but never mind, if i forget ar.. just make sure you tell me your birthday.. ha ha.. Auf wiedersen! (await youth camp 2 when I return)

Guitar Exam

I finished my grade 1 guitar exam!! Praise the Lord!! I'm confident I passed but my teacher wants a merit. Hopefully, I can get it. My pices wasn't that good though but the rest seems okay. But I'm grateful to God for pulling me through... hallelujah!!

Youth Camp 2

Hey, I'm back again (Saturday, 8Dec). I'm awfully tired. Have been attending a meeting the whole morning plus a concert by some fantastic children-youth choirs in the afternoon. A day well used if I may say so my self but my lack of holiday revision is a bit worrying considering that I may be busy for the next week or so.
Anyways, back to my youth camp.
So on the first day of the camp on the 3rd, I went there rather early. Besides 4 of the committee members who is supposed to go to the camp site early for preparations, the rest of the committtee only came an hour after I came. So I'm stuck with my brother for the next 1 hour. It was okay except for the minor scuffle I had with him because i didn't let him play the piano.
We started the camp off with committee prayer where we gave thanks to God for the His graciousness upon us. (Have I told you it has been raining for days with only periodic stops?). Well, on the day the sun, by the grace of God, started to shine. Hallelujah! Oh ya, I forgot to say something. The night before when i was packing my bags, I was a hypocrite. On one hand i told my bro that by faith it will not rain. I keep repeating that even when he asked whether we need to bring sunblock as was stated in the camp checklist. But guess what? I packed my umbrella. I even told Dennis to pack an umbrella! O' me of little faith! I soon realise how faithless and hypocritical I was. I was praying that it didn't rain, even told my brother that by faith the sun will shine and here i am packing an umbrella.. sigh.. Fortunately, my conscience got the better of me. I immediately awoke (i was almost asleep) and took my umbrella out.
Ok, back to the first day. YOu know what, I learnt my first lesson on the first day even before we left for Santubong. Lesson number 1: Never ever tell anyone you know wushu especially if you look like a bookworm! You know, after i told them i know wushu the saturday before, everytime my MYF'ers see me they'll say "Hi,wushu!" or just repeat the word wushu a dozen times!!!! One even changed it to "dushu", which is chinese for reading books! If I'm an emo person as Sam discribes it, boy, I would be locking myself up in the doors of depression for being laughed at (teased is a better word)
But honestly, I actually quite enjoy the teasing. I mean, though it may sound like it's insulting my abilities but it was actually a blessing in disguise. Those who do not actually know me at least now know me by my new found unfortunate nickname: "Wushu". Yup, my name is now "wushu". Also, this teasing has the potential to draw me closer to people, many whom I'm not close to. So I have no qualms though I was somewhat irritated sometimes. I even got a new motto to console myself which is "MY Greatest Weakness Will be My Greatest Strength". Cool motto, don't ya think? No? You gotta learn to appreciate English man!
It was drizzling that drizzling afternoon. At first I thought, "so much for not bringing the umbrella.." because to get to the bus I had to come under the rain. But I assured myself that it is a good time to show those who think I'm a bookworm that "bookworms" ain't scared of the rain. I also know that God will provide.
During the trip, my faith was tested again. As we rode across Santubong bridge, it started to rain as was yesterday-really heavy. In fact, I think it has been raining on this side of Kuching for some time already. We just entered into rain zone. My bro joked that it was rain here because we only prayed on the other side of Kuching and not on this side. Either ways, it was a test.
Guess what, just 2 or more kilometres before we arrived, the downpour reduced itself back into a drizzle. Ah, the joy that flowed... till... splash!!! Yuck!!.. that was probably the dirtiest water besides the water that came from the Santubong sewage tunnel into the beach that ever sprayed onto my face! That van (i think) came from nowhere and just gave a few of us unfortunate right-side-windowers a splash of welcoming.
At Santubong I had 3 roommates with me, one of which was Dennis. Initially I was a little cautious about the other two, well, not because they are the MYF bad hats or anything. It's just that I do not know them really well and i don't have a good first impression of them, hence the suspicion. Still, i tried to be as friendly as my nature permits.
The first worship session was conducted by me. Boy it was a mess. Although there was only 20 minutes left before the whole camp officially began, the equipment team have not completed instrument set-up. So I do not have much of practice time. And here comes praise and worship. Honestly, i didn't prepare well for this. And the mic was blur. So the words that came out was blurry and not well organised. Oh, well. Sorry Lord:(
The first talk by our speaker Uncle David Eu was quite informative. In fact, I feel he is a good speaker, an adult speaker but not so much of a youth speaker.
Fast forward to the night. Boy, the barbeque was far from satisfactory. I mean, I won't mind if we done it ourselves, but since they insist on doing it themselves, I expect super good barbequeing, not burnt-one-side sausages. And did I mention the ants coming out of the cakes? But kudos for the i-hope-it's safe- delicious soup.
Oh ya, there's still the games before that. It is called "pass the potato" where you passs a potato around until the music stops. The person who possesses the potato after the music stop gotta answer a question. Failure to answer it correctly and you'll be punished. Well, ar... initially, it was smooth sailing. The potato left me arms as soon as it arrived... until..my mischievious friend unsuspectingly put in my shirt. Unfortunately, the music stopped at that time also. Ok.. cool.. just a question.. most answered correctly... i can do it...
"What did flintstones use to move their car? A. Foot B. Dinasour C. Tar."
"Err.. Dinasour?"
"It's wrong!"
What? Oh man..., I got that wrong? No way.. well.. yes way... my awful hearing punished me again. You know, when the game master said foot, I heard food!!! SO I THOUGHT THAT WASN'T THE ANSWER. Plus my other friends yelling dinasour, I finally gave in. Oh great, punishment time. Guess what it is... write words using your butt.. fortunately, i got a few other unlucky ones doing it with me... phew...
Well, that's all for the first day. I can't believe I took so long just to finish typing this...

Hey, it's been a long time since I posted anything rite? Was busy with my youth camp.. well, since that's what I'm up to the last week I guess I should write about it, no?
Where do I start?.. hmm.. we started planning this youth camp not long ago.. in fact, it was very last minute, abour the end of October.. That's why we were rushing in the planning all the way through. Let's skip the details of the planning, shall we?
The climax before the camp was most certainly a night before the closing date. Well, we initially targetted 70 participants and at first I thought that was too little. So imagine what a scare it was to only have 8 people sign just the day before the deadline!!! Of course if all committee memebers sign up, it will be at least 20 but that's not even half the number!
There were rumours going on about cancellation, rumours that appears so true that even some of the committee members started believing them. Who could blame them, since the numbers speak for themselves. One thing that we discusss in the meeting after that which I find very true is that, the organising committee's main task is to organise not to cancel. Why organise if you cancel it that easily?
That day was a Saturday, 17 November to be exact. That night, after MYF, I felt the need to pray. Even if we will fail, I want to make sure we do not go down without inquiring of the Lord. Therefore, I asked all committee members to pray at the same time that night, 11p.m. I asked that they pray that the Lord will grant us at least 40 people but not so that we can proceed with the camp but so that through the camp and through those who went, God may be glorified. And so we prayed, I hope (but sorry to the two I didn't manage to contact).
The following day, we only managed to get 30plus people, so we extended the deadline to Thursday, hoping. By the grace of God, we manage to get 44 participants! Hallelujah! God is good. And I know, that because the Lord granted us this breakthrough, I believe He wants to do something.
After alll last minute details have been sorted out, it is just a wait for the second only camp if I'm not mistaken) that Im' going to.

I just realized my friends circle is one of the smallest in the world!

When I went to see people's friendster today, I was like wa.. die lo.. why they all got so many friends one ha? This person got 200+, another one got 100+.. I only got.. 2.. but also my fault la.. Up till now, I still don see the point of friendster. All you can do is to CONNECT, COMMENT and CONSENT, meaning to check on peoples profile, blogs (connect), say something to them (comment) and to agre to friends requests (consent).. But seems kinda cool to have many friends. But I'm still a little shy.. Oh well..

I'm confused

i'm confused
thought I finally know something but I'm confused

i try to grasp the truth on both sides but cannot conclude
so confused i feel like giving up yet still stuck in the middle.

charismatic? methodist? they are just names
one major difference is theology
not one seems wrong but none seems right
former or latter? power or truth?
understanding takes time.. and struggle
shed some light will you O'God
into the crossroad I'm facing
never let me fall into the wrong
God I only want you

Eggs! Yummy!

More than just a food
Into the stomach it goes
Satisfies real good
Seems to cure the woes

Yearning for more each day
One is never enough
Utmost delicious I say, but all this just a bluff

Enormous omelletes or simple scramble
Lovely yellow or white surrounds
Always fulfilling, always satisfying
In filled rich with nutrients too
Never eat too much though
Egg, oh my lovely egg! May you always be there for me.

Hunger

Hunger. That's the word in my vocabulary this week. All week long I've been reading about hunger for God. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled".
No doubt before eating breakfast as I am now, I feel hungry. Yet, my hunger is still not so much that I become so desperate I can even gobble a lizard.
Hunger. Hungry for God. What does it actually mean? I'm sure it is not just plain hungry where the desire to eat just kicks in. I think hunger is an understatement. It is should be called starving. Starvation for the Almighty God.
But yet what does it mean? Tommy Tenney mentioned that many are actually hungry for God. They no longer want the stale food that many churhes offer. They no longer want the past bread of yesteryear. Most importantly, they do not want the GOd of the past tense. They are in fact searching for something deeper and more present. The God of the present.
Bible says that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. But it also talks about renewal. It never says what happened in the past may not happen in the future except of course concerning various disasters like the Great Flood. We sing that God's riches are new every day.
I don't actually know what I'm talking about now. I just know that we Christians are not hungry for God. Though our souls is starving our minds continues to take the drugs or pleasure, work and money. Are you hungry? What are you doing to fulfill that hunger?

Another friend test

Create your own Friend Test here
The first friend test is on 18th October

Plans

Well, it's the holidays again. What a wonderful time to waste. Being probably the most important and the most meaningful holiday so far, I certainly do not want it to go to waste. After the all, this is my final long holiday before the SPM exam, I wouldn't want to waste 45 days for nothing, do I? It's also time that I make my year end review of my interesting life throughout the year. But before that, I'd like to share my plans for the holidays.
There are several agenda's on top of my list at the moment. Here it goes (from the most important downwards):

1. To draw nearer to God
2. To lay out the master plan for next year's three-pronged attack
3. To write as many articles as possible to bless others
4. To improve on my piano, guitar and vocal
5. To understand all my science subjects
6. To memorize all moral nilai
7. To revise all that I've learn this year.

Sounds like a tall order for me but by the grace of God, I will carry through. Ryner said that Satan will go all out the make my holidays as meaningless as possible and then try to make me feel guilty about it. Lord, bless me Lord., most importantly, may your plans be my plans. Amen!

Desire

Quite stressful with a lot of things going on. From youth camp to birthdays to presents to worship duties.. boy it's a bit pressuring when you do not have enough time. Still feel the joy from hearing the good news from my friend. Like ryner said to me, sometimes you just never know the impact you made in other people's life. But I always feel that I'm not daring enough to influence people the Jesus way. I'm not daring enough to tell people about Jesus directly. But I hope that in the last year at school, my friendship with her will grow much deeper and I want to influence at least one more person in a positive way, and to lead another person to Christ.

Grandma's Birthday

Oh, it's been awhile since I blogged. Have been busy in the pass few days doing lots of stuff. Tomorrow don't seem any easier. Well, one of the most important thing to occur the past week will be my grandama's birthday. Some funny things happened during the process of which I do not want to talk about now. But overall it was a success and my debut singing in public for the first time. My grandama was trilled with my sibling's and I performance. Oh, well that's all for now.

Thank you Jesus

I can hide my happiness on my face but I can't hide my joy in my heart. I'm extremly, greatly, immensely, amazingy, unexplainably, whatever morely joyous. I'm so happy to hear from my friend that her spiritual life is improving. I'm so happy that my many prayers have been answered. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not like me but I feel like dancing all day and night!!! Glory be to God! May God continue to bless her, may she have the joy that comes from above. Thank you Jesus!

No subject

Argghhh.... Exam!!!! Chemistry!!! Physics!!!! Don't understand!!! Got a lot of things to write but no time.. haih..

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Amazing Race MYF

Amazing race today was great. I had a lot of fun with my MYF friends. Though I was unsurprisingly the quietess.
First we gathered at my church for briefing. At first our driver was a lady but for some reason she didn't turn up. Luckily,we had another driver, this time a guy. Boy I'm not sure whether to consider us lucky or unfortunate because he drives like crazy. I was sitting at the front so I was so so so so scared.. ha ha..
We were last by the time we reach our first stop because one of our members was still at home so we had to pick him up first. Our first stop was at Chin Fu. There was nothing much to do there except take a picture of us all.
After that, we rushed to the Malaysia-China Friendship Park. There, we had to count how many turtles are there, take a picture of something that represents Malaysia-China ties and also count the number of hornbills there. Running across the park was a little tiring but made worse by the fact that my left foot is hurting since sports day after I sort of tore my muscle or something.
Then we were off to Kuching's "standing cemetry". Guess where's that.. It is the musuem. We ask to count the number of stairs there. Next, they gave us another task. We were supposed to take a picture of the biggest fish in the Fish Musuem. And guess what.. it is the fish hanging on the ceiling. But that is not the most kek tiok thing. The worst one was when they gave a picture of some James Brooke thing and asked us to look for it. We went everywhere to look for it. From fourth we became second last all because we couldn't find the thing. Guess what.. it is on the canon!!!!!!!!!
After that, our clue lead us to lunch where we ate at Singapore Chicken Rice near Secret Recipe. We had a mandatory break till 1100. Next stop: Crystal Bowl.
But of course before we decided the clue asks us to go there, we went to riverside superbowl. We were the first there and so happy only to find we were at the wrong place. So we finally decided to go to the right place and had some bowling. Two times I strike all except 1! haiyo only left one! Anyways it was fun.
Then our last stop was at Riverside. There is a history walk along Riverside. We were asked to find the history plaque that explains how Malaysia is formed. This was the most tiring because we had run for at so long. In our last task, we were given two more pictures. One was the cat at Padungan, the other was a scenery. The cat was quite easy but the scenery a bit hard. We had to drive all the way to the 5th floor of the Sarawak Plaza just to take that picture. Something funny happened there but I don't know how to describe it...
Well, in the end, although we arrive at the end point the 4th team, we were 2nd last because of our score. Haih.. but never mind, it was a fun time.

Birthday gift

Gave a birthday present to a friend just yesterday. Her birthday is during the hols so I can only give before or after. Well, I chose before.
I don't know what her response will be. Nah, it's not flowers or chocolates or anything romantic lest she be my girlfriend but it's love, unconditional love. The Jesus love.
I spent a pleasant and tedious amount of time on the present especially on the only piece of art that I can say that I'm good at. I won't go into details lest I'm labeled "doing it for my own glory". I sure hope it'll bless her. I nearly sacrificed my add maths just to make sure it can be finished and given before the hols. Phew, that was hard work.
I know it is impossible that someone will just overnight become passionate for God. God did say what sprouts overnight can also disappear overnight. I certainly do not want that to happen to her. But I hope she won't hate me and a friend for doing this. Yet, all is in His time, not mine not my friend's. No matter how much I want to see her grow in wisdom and stature, I realise it is beyond my control. I just want to see the love of Christ transform her. Maybe from a fierce tigress to a tigress of love and joy, a tigress whose yellow light shines brighter than the black and sinful stripes we all have before salvation. I notice she has many strengths, from loving her family to probably sincerity, to artistry to hardmorking. I do not know how many see these qualities in her but I do. I hope she knows too.
There is another quality that I find great. It is one I can't actually describe now. But I know she is just a doorstep away from heaven's house just that circumstance has prevented her from experiencing the joy. I do not know the condition of her heart or if Jesus dwells there already but I know or at least I feel I know, she is more ready to be a Christian than many other lukewarm Christians in the class. But who am I to judge, God have mercy on me.
Well, though I know she won't be reading this blog, I wish her a blessed birthday. (but if she reads this blog, she call me weird for saying all this). God bless!

Am I on the right path?

I don't know how to start. At first I was just telling my brother that I'm going early to MYF at 7 tomorrow. Then, he asks for what to which I answered to pray. That's when the whole issue started.
Actually we already have our disagreements in the area of spirituality. We have different theology in a sense. In P&W, my focus is to usher in the Holy Spirit so that people can worship in spirit and in truth but he thinks fun and atmosphere that is not too boring is necessary first. Yes I agree that primary school and lower secondary schoolers may not grasp spiritual maturity that quickly and I do agree P&W has to be more youthful so that youths don't feel like they are attending an adult thing.
But just now, he has me so angry and sad at the same time. First he claims that group prayer is not important. He says I can pray myself at home. Before this argument today, he says I should not get too involved in my praise and worship duties coz it's taking away my playing time with him. Then, I do agree that if I'm involved every week with praise and worship, it's not so good too as I know the importance of family time together. I also try to make it a point to take a once a month break so that I can have more time for myself and family on Sat aftrernoons. But now, all I ask is to go half an hour earlier and he is throwing all kinds of doctrine on me. He does not want me to go early so that he does not have too. Why he doesn't want? Because he does not want to wander alone and bored for half an hour until his friends come. I can't describe how i felt.
Basically, i'm not sure whether he wants to play with me because he wants to spend time for a closer relationship with me or just for him to pass time and have fun. I know I should not doubt but that's how I feel. When I argue with him, I have to be extremely careful. Say the wrong word and off it comes back to you in the next argument. So I often resort to say the necessary things and whatever he says after that I treat as noise pollution because I know pride will take away any solutions. But I wonder if that is the right thing to do. I'm afraid it may signal I've nothing to say to counter him and that he is right. though sometimes I do have nothing to say (only becuase I can't find the right words), but I'm just trying to control myself from blowing up at him!
He also says that I always undermine his spiritual knowlegde and I'm always "holier" and that I always complain that the MYF'ers are not spiritual enough. I do agree that I have doubts about him spiritually. From the way he lives his life to his priorities to I don't know. As I type that sentence, there is a voice telling me not to judge. I confess that I undermine his spiritual knowlegde.
In some circumstance I also feel I'm "holier than thou". I always think am I the only one around me to feel that Christians especailly in our church are unequiped for spiritual warfare, lack the Holy Sprit's manifestations and lack maturity? Come on, Holy Sprit come with power, healing, casting out demons etc. though miracles should not be the main focus. The lack of them though is a serious problem.
I'm sad because christians in our church don't have power and especially ones which demonstrate the power of God. I'm even more amzed at the lack of depth and passion for God. Revival meeting seems to be just another talk by another speaker other than our own pastor. If the power of God is present, we will have a revival meeting each week! All my life, God has not given me sign. But I believe what I need is not a sign. I may not believe it even if it were to appear in front of me now. I'm frustrated and depressed. Every time negative thoughts enter my mind, it gets amplified by the enemy and neutralise my defenses. I feel rather defeated in a sense. So much for be holy and be happy.
Well, as a conclusion, my biggest obstacle comes not from my own parents, I've not got an encounter with God, the church lacks power and I can't discern what is right and wrong.
I'm really afraid I twisted some facts. Thanks for reading my long long article.

Deceit and defeat

I'm actually quite a happy person. I got a wonderful family, a smart brother and great friends and especially a magnificent God.
But I don't get why my mind is always filled with negative things. Most of the time, the negative things do not warrant me to feel bad at all. Yet, it oftens become amplified in my mind. For example, if I were to mistakenly teach others the wrong things, I'll be saying "You are useless. Don't try helping, you'll make things worst" and this kind of thoughts. Often I know these are from the devil and he is trying to defeat me but everytime I hear these thoughts, I'll become very depressed for quite a while. I try feeling my mind with words of truth but either because i choose to or for some reason, it'll not go away. Only after a long time or when I sleep then it disappears.
However, by then, usually the damage is done. During my time of depression, I often close up myself and not talk to anyone. Even my friends were to talk to me, I'll only give one word answers. Sometimes, I do tell them I'm depress but I rarely know how to explain myself plus i'm afraid that they do not understand so usually I keep it all alone, relying on only myself and hopefully God to do the healing.
I hate this. It's leaving me rather defeated and deceived. God, please teach me what to do.

Of History exams and end times dreams

Argghh!! Really stressed. Can't memorize my sejarah. Often has distractions going on when studying. Feel rather frustrated. I told myself maybe I'll try harder the next time but I know this is giving up even before the battle begins. Haih.. Arghhhh!!!
Anyways, last night had a dream about the end times. I don't think it's a vison or anything. In the dream, I dreamt that my dad and my brother went against me and I lived in fear. I pray that that will not happen, that my brother and dad will hold firm to the end. That I will too.

My BelovedBrother

I guess everyone who have siblings will face this huh. It's probably my greatest sin right now. Since young I tried exerting control over my brother, unintentionally. It's not that I want to but being elder it's kinda my natural instinct. Whether we paly toys or any games, it's always my rules which dominate it. I always seem to leave my brother out of the picture.
However, since a long time ago, I already realised that my brother have far more capabilities than me. If he just work hard, he can be better than me in almost every area. Today, this is coming true. He is interested in gardening so he is more knowledgable now. He is better musically than me, piano and guitar-wise, maybe in two years time singing-wise too. He is a bit better than me in badminton too, I don't doubt he'll make a good public speaker and leader if he just break the ice. The only thing I can actually say I'm better now is my Bible knowledge and practice and erm.. chess..
Being an elder brother and a one that loves him, I know I should be proud of the fact that he is good in certain areas. Yet, I think I'm becoming a little jealous and unsecure at his "superiority". I don't know why but nowadays I am easily threatened when my "authority" is challenged, that is when people talk rudely to me. I've become overly sensitive and every minor stuff like talking to me in a slightly louder voice would be blown so out of proportion in my mind that I get angry and lash out the other person. I admit, pride is getting in my way.
To be honest, deep inside I'm happy at my brother's development. He is growing up and whatever is his, well, is his. God never said that the older must be better than the younger. We are all the same. Please forgive me Lord for having pride take control. Ground me in your truth Lord that I'm significant in your eyes no matter how my ability is because I'm your work and creation.
To my brother and my family members, I'm sorry also for the times I let my pride take control and lash out unnecessarily and you guys. I'm real sorry, it's unintentional.
But I'm worried for the spiritual development of my brother. As it seems, it's not going well. Yes, he is still reading the Bible and praying but I feel his growth has stunted. First, he is totally not interested in talks (which is sadly normal among younger youths his age). Second, he is not reading any Christian books at all, meaning he will lack understanding. I really do hope he reads some of my books at home but he always calls them boring. How then is he to know about his identity in Christ which is powerful that even demons will fear him, how then is he to know how to fight temptation, how then is he to interpret the Bible in a better way? How then is life is going to be enriched? I guess maybe you'll say that he is still too young, give him time but do you realise what we lack now is time? I don't know how close we are to end of the world and if it is today, I'm wonder how firm he will stand in this faith in the midst of the suffering we Christians will face. And besides, everyday that gone by without you knowing more about God and your new fredom and power as God's son is another day of unnecessary pain.
I can't do much now except to pray hard for him. I hope he will read this. I hope he will understand no matter how bad I unintentionally treat him, i love him as my one and only brother.

Pray not for prosperity but strength

Have you been reading the news lately. I can't help but feel sad. Say all you want about me worrying too much about stuff not concerning me but I lament the state the world is in. First we have the innocent children suffering. One in Malysia was brutally murdered, another was in Australia was abandoned. Many more are abused, and even burnt by parents. Then, we have the plane crash in Thailand, the quake in Indonesia, etc. Is the world safe anymore?
Yes, I heard many repeat that phrase all the time. The fact is, the world is not and nevert will be safe. all this must happen as the end of the world draws near. Call me a religious fanatic but I believe everyday that passes is one step to the end. Only God knows if it'll happen in this lifetime. I'm lost for words. But I know, no matter what happens, God is still in control. Lord, may your will be done. To Christians, please pray that as persecution intensifies, as suffering grows stronger, we will be even more stronger, trusting in only Christ who strengthens us.

I'm so Blur

It's me again after almost a week. I was quite busy with my assignments. Many people say that I expect too much of myself at times. I always pressure myself to do the best and to be the best. Ya, I do agree that I'm like that but I don't see what is wrong in pushing myself.
Today, I feel bad. I fel bad because I'm so not a hands-on person. It was at the chemistry lab and my group and I were doing an experiment. During the experiment, I tried to help but I just couldn't. I don't know why but everytime I'm to do practical work, I just become blur and frozen. I wanted to help but I'm afraid I screw things up. I'm afraid I let the team down. So I just stood there acting like a fool watching, risking being labelled unhelpful. I feel worse as my leader seems to be the only doing it while we all are blur on what to do. As a leader myself, I know what is it like when my team members just do nothing. I'm sorry. I'm just so blur.
I always wonder why some people are so blur. They seem so insecure that you can't seem to trust them to do a good job in many areas. Ask them to bring something the next day and chances are, they'll forget. Ask them to cut some vergetables and they cut their finger by accident. And the look of blurness on thier face makes you feel even more like slaughtering them when they do wrong. If they had a confident look, at least you would not feel as frustrated.
But the more I don't want to be like them, the I am. I certainly have nothing against them. I realise it is just their nature and it's not a bad thing. Yet, I cannot accept I am blur too.
Well, that's all I wanna say. Sorry, leader. I really want to help you but I can't even help myself. Sorry, thaqt we didn't even complete the experiment.

Charismatic Movement Wrong?

Have been busy for the past few days. Exam coming up so can't write too much. Well, have been struggling lately with the issue of charismatic movements. It is so confusing as to whether Charismatics are on the right side or no.
It is just that on Saturday I attended a talk that is against Charismatic doctrine. He spoke about speaking in tongues, healing, prophecy and various charismatic doctrine on spiritual gifts. He also spoke about Charismatics emphasising too much on experience and the fact that they are going back to the Word just so that they can selectively choose part of the word which supports their doctrine instead of doing it because it is right.
I'm confused. On one hand, some of his arguments is right but then you can't deny that John Wesley, founder of Methodism has also various charismatic experiences such falling under the power. There are also some other questions I'd like to ask him but have no chance. I do agree that various worship songs are not based on the Bible and therefore should not be sung as it will give people a false impression of the Word of God.
That's all for now. Hopefully God can teach me something through this confusion.

I Forgotten to be Grateful

"Mummy, don't worry. I'll do the laundry, iron the clothes and even cook tonight's dinner. You just take your deserved rest, ok?" a girl of 10 years was telling her mum.
No doubt her intentions was good. Who wouldn't want a daughter so young and yet understanding. After all, she realised that mummy has sacrificed a lot for her and now is a good time to give her something back. But as they say it, "It is easier said than done."
The laundry is somewhat an easy task. It is the first task so of course she is filled with energy and joy that she is now able to share her mother's burdens. However later, as she continues on with ironing and then cooking, she realises that doing so much is no mean work. In fact it is taxing for a young and innocent girl like her. Though her intentions is still to repay what her mom has done, she can't help but have thoughts of complaining and grumbling and also "Why did I do this in the first place?"
The same thing happened to me recently. I was doing my oral. I know I had a lot of potential in speaking in public but nevertheless I told God that no matter what will be my marks, I will still give the glory to Him. While speaking in front, I thought I did a better-than-good-but-not-yet-excellent job. I got 2 marks less than the full marks. I said I was satisfied and gave glory silently to God. However, today when one of my best friends got full marks, indeed I was happy for her. After all, she deserved it and is one of my best friends but I can't help but feel disappointed.
I know I should not feel that way. While others aim to get it done with with the oral asap, my aim is to present something that will impact the lives of those who listen by what I say with the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I think I managed to that though my marks ain't that good. If you ask God, I think he'll say its a good job done. I think Satan is trying to make me jealous and causing me to sin. But glory to God for results and hers, though I still feel disappointed i could not get full marks.
Another case is when I got my piano results. I got a merit and all I can say to my friends is that it was my lowest mark or I could have done better. It was only last night that God suddenly remined me that I forgot to give thanks. Before the exam, I told God that I'll give glory to Him no matter what I get. But as humans are always forgetful, I have forgotten. Forgive me Lord:(
According to the book "Cat and Dog Theology", many Christians live like a cat. They have the mentality that "you pet me, you feed me, I must be God." Contrary to dogs who have the mindset "you pet me, you feed me you must be God". We often see life as all about ourselves, and not God. We think salvation is all about us, healing is all about us, the church exists to serve us and music is for us. But we are actually missing the bigger picture. Life is not about us, we are about life. Throughout the years we forgotten that life is about our creator, for the glory of our creator which is God. We can never be primary and God secondary. God must always be our number one.
I love to write more but I'm losing time. About the girl's story just now, what I like to say is, I have the desire to love God and to give all glory to Him but at times my human fraility causes me to grumble and try to take credit away from God and unto myself. So sad.. ha ha.. Pray for me.. Till next time!

The big Reason this blog was created

Hey, its me again. Can't believe its September already. Time flies real fast. Feeling rather stressed at the fact that I can't understand chemistry and physics. I love physics but I just have trouble understant certain concepts. Maybe its because I have no tuition.
Well, I created this blog in the 1st place not just to talk about my problems or as a place I can pour it all out. I created this blog so that people can see my struggles, to show that being a Christian is not going to make life easier nor those it mean you have to be holy just to be a Christian. I want the readers which is you to know how I struggle with many things, Christian or not, struggle with and especially how God has worked through my problems. I pray and hope you will be encouraged and strengthened. Feel free to share with me your struggles, I will certainly help in whatever way I can. For now, God bless! Await my next post:)

I'm typing this for fun

Hi, this my 1st blog.