I'm so Blur

It's me again after almost a week. I was quite busy with my assignments. Many people say that I expect too much of myself at times. I always pressure myself to do the best and to be the best. Ya, I do agree that I'm like that but I don't see what is wrong in pushing myself.
Today, I feel bad. I fel bad because I'm so not a hands-on person. It was at the chemistry lab and my group and I were doing an experiment. During the experiment, I tried to help but I just couldn't. I don't know why but everytime I'm to do practical work, I just become blur and frozen. I wanted to help but I'm afraid I screw things up. I'm afraid I let the team down. So I just stood there acting like a fool watching, risking being labelled unhelpful. I feel worse as my leader seems to be the only doing it while we all are blur on what to do. As a leader myself, I know what is it like when my team members just do nothing. I'm sorry. I'm just so blur.
I always wonder why some people are so blur. They seem so insecure that you can't seem to trust them to do a good job in many areas. Ask them to bring something the next day and chances are, they'll forget. Ask them to cut some vergetables and they cut their finger by accident. And the look of blurness on thier face makes you feel even more like slaughtering them when they do wrong. If they had a confident look, at least you would not feel as frustrated.
But the more I don't want to be like them, the I am. I certainly have nothing against them. I realise it is just their nature and it's not a bad thing. Yet, I cannot accept I am blur too.
Well, that's all I wanna say. Sorry, leader. I really want to help you but I can't even help myself. Sorry, thaqt we didn't even complete the experiment.