Updates

I'm so blur now.. down with the flu and laziness bug.. Mountains of work awaits.. what else could happen? I nearly even forgot i have a blog. So far, i'm just managing to survive. Aiks! That's bad. Must get down back to work mode after refreshing vacations from KL and Sematan which probably made me so weak i'm down with horrible flu which nearly cause me to faint.

Just a few updates:

The KL trip was the my most enjoyable trip with the choir. I never felt so happy in spite of being scolded badly for a mistake i deserve. It was probably the only or at least one of the only trip where i felt i belonged to the team. In the past, team trips usually causes me to feel alone because i somehow couldn't mix with the others even with my best friends in there. While the rest are all play and sleeping late, I would be the only one in the quietest room (my own room) getting ready to sleep. I always feared that I would be labelled anti-social because i don't hang out with others to play cards or strip-UNO. Yet, strangely, its this "anti-social" habit of mine that enables me to get close to people feeling down or lonely too although chances are rare.

This trip is a trip where i can mingle with the others. Honestly i never expected that because this time all my best friends are not in the choir. I nearly thought i would be lonely again. How wrong i am. This trip turn out to be my happiest moments. Maybe it's because i prefer mingling with junior people where i don't feel so inferior. The seniors were very friendly too. I guess our personality clicked and i was given a sense of importance. Best of all, my room mate even slept earlier and woke up earlier than me! I was amazed. In the past, i needed to wake them up. I salute the guy.

This is my second Malaysian Choral Eistedfodd (formerly Young Singers Choral Festival). My first wasn't a pleasant experience. I was junior conductor at that time, leading a whole group of newbies. Being not so musically inclined, my conductor was anything but good. So imagine the fear, the rebukes and the i'm-not-up-to-expectations feeling. Worst is that just months before, the choir performed with the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra-- now this conductor came? How contrasting is this MCE. I can only praise the Lord for giving me this experience. To add cherry to the cream, choir got a silver diploma, betterring the result during the World Choir Games. (did i mention the presence of Phillipines in the competition greatly increases the value of my co-curricular marks.. yay!)

Conclusion: Love it!

The Sematan Palm beach Worship and Music Camp on 8th to 10th June was another eye opener. This time it in terms of worship . Dr Myrleene Yap was our speaker for the camp. She's a W&M lecturer at Singapore Bible College. It's the first time i learnt so much about worship. She added a whole new dimension to my understanding of worship. Another speaker was Alma. She seems to be able to prophecy. If Dr. Yap brought understanding, she brought power. Another choral workshop speaker was Miss Wong, my conducting teacher in form 2 during conducting course. She brought fun. Last but not least is Uncle Tracy, our very own music director. He brought a personal touch to the camp.

I jotted down many notes about what worship is and isn't but i remember vividly a few very clearly. One quote that i understood but this time strikes me most was

"Worship Brings Transformation"

Another note that struck me was the part where David wanted to buy a plot of land in order to build an altar to God and said this:

"I Will not Offer to God what costs me nothing"

These 2 quotes spoke volumes to me. I just pray that people can see that worship does bring transformation in me and that from now on, i'll never give God my left overs ever again. Amen!

My Garden of Paradise

The misty garden of morning dew

narrow the path narrow the view

looking for sunlight what do i find?

if only was easy to be able to dine

Lost in the woods, before two roads

Neither one seems distinct or true

No beauty in sight just sound of the toads

Blurry the greens where is my blue?

I entered to plants not by mistake

Won't regret cuz i'm sure its the place

Just cold is the dew beside the lake

How could i see the eve of God's grace?

Were  i led here without a clue?

Or did i choose to believe its true?

I won't depart just yet just because i'm blue

But i know the sun will rise and green will rule

God, i commit to you my garden paradise

Though i see not the clear, i will not fear

I know we will be safe in your arms

Because your love shines to us

Keep the enemy away from my garden.

As i wait for your bright true light. 

Amen.

Prism of light

Where the prism of light once lay,

It is now going to pass

One by one the sevens separate,

Only in abstract will it continue to last

It once shot out an array of light

Not just seven but many more

But a new dawn has descended real bright

Till only blue is left on this Kuching shore

Sure there's still one more to see

One light that still would shine with me

I just worrry how bright it'll be

How important is God's light to thee

The prism of light must separate now

But not to distance will the relationship bow

Off they go to far lands to multiply

My job is here, its mine to try

May the yellow not fade away

as the rest seems to fade to grey

And God's light bond the prism together

Years to come, to weather weather

Blur morning dew

In the midst of the mornin dew

Lay creatures, strangers 

Fogged and blur not able to see

Oh, the road i'm walking i see only few

In darkness, highness, youngsters

Walking and falling for no clear reason be

Watch this

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

Change i can believe in-- i hope..

Needs to revamp myself.. been too lazy and inefficient in the past.. time to revitalise. As such, Jeremy would like to announce that for now, tues and thurs would be official holidays from facebook and MSN. Any enquiries or problems, please send to jere4_me@yahoo.com. he needs a boost in confidence that'll only come through himself and no one else. Needs all the prayer he can get. as form 6 starts, online social networking may become even less. nevertheless e-mails would be checked at best every day. 

targets to improve on:

a) social skills

b) guitar skills

c) planning and tactical skills

d) focusing skills

e) time management

Any inconvenience is regretted.

From the Jeremy team,

Jer

Where does my future lies?

      So now the big question: Where does my future lies? Would it be in the hospital, or mental institution, or mortuary, or police station? Don't worry, this is not a question about what kind of criminal i plan to be. Rather it is what kind of career path should i take.

      It's interesting alright. I really can't imagine what i'll be for the next 30 years. I believe this questions bugs every form 5 students after spm. But those who love physics and add maths can have it easy in engineering, which offers not only one of the most scholarships around, it has a lot of places and demand is great especially for Malaysia which  is developing. 

    But for a bio person like me, where should i go? JPA only offers degree in the sciences, vet and medicine related fields. Am i suitable for those? Is it my calling? Degree in the sciences gets you into teaching (tell me if i'm wrong), animals are not my type, mouths are not what i want to see and neither do i like chemistry. Which leaves just one: doctor. 

   I've battled with this question: To be a doctor or not. Don't get me wrong. I have the highest respect for those in this profession. But i considered the pros and the cons and am still battling the dilemma although i told those closest to me i'm closed to the idea. Here's why:

Pros:

1. Good pay
2. Respected
3. Job very stable, not affected but economic downturn
4. Can help people physical and even spiritually if the opportunity arises
5. Everyone encourages me to be a doctor

Cons:

1. Long working hours especially for initial stages
2. Difficult work
3. Afraid of blood and surgery
4. Needs lots of brains
5. Less time with family
6. Less time for church activities

Initially i was still open to the idea of pursuing a career in medicine. It was after the JPA exposure trip to the hospital that i decided that medicine may not be my kind of job. Firstly it is because of my lack of passion. I like the idea, i like the job but i'm not so sure about my motivation. 5 years of study just for a normal degree is a long time. Not to mention the bond to the government and also the years as houseman and also medical officer before i'm able to become a speacialist. They say around 14 years before we can actually relax. wow.. that's long..

But my main reason for not taking it up is because of my 5th and 6th con reason. I worry that they'll be less time for my family and also the church, especially the Youth ministry. Being on the job and on call almost 24-7, i also wonder how it'll affect me, especially when i go completely blur when i'm sleepy, tired, and hungry. My judgement completely goes haywire.

The only thing that's keeping me wondering now is the many that encourages me to be a doctor. It's a little perplexing. I prefer psychology but a lot discourages me from taking it. I don't actually like medicine but not even one discourage me-- well with the exception of the nurses and the doctors in the hospital. Hah!

Any comments? I really need more info about psychology. 

Lord, what's your calling?