Return, please, return!

Every time I look at you, I don't know what to do
Living my life as if it only was for you
All I know is that your smile paint will my life colourful
Inside is a burning desire for you
Now yet all i want to do is to see you ever
Ever only leaning on the Lord eternally

Love God, my dear
Iluminate those around with His light
Never let the weeds of the world choke you
God wants to come in your life

Lean on the Lord
I only want to see

Fight this good fight of faith
Even though Idesire even more
Never turn away oh love
God's daughter, that's all I ask of you.

Of time and Friendship

Finally i'm done with my SEAMEO project. Welll, not actually done but finished the paper work. For the first time i get to visit teacher during CNY, too bad is too complete this project. But at least got ang pau and yummy home-made cheese cake. So teachers are really good in this baking thing.

If the past week i have been busy, the next 4 weeks till the quarterly hols i will still be the same. This Fri I'll be conducting in front of the CM for some scholarship function. Next week, i'll have my monthly test for 3 days. And the week after, i may have to be tested on oral (pair work with Abdul Rashid). The following week i'm off to Penang for the SEAMEO competition. Oh ya, did i mention that we'll also have to prepare the posters and presentation for SEAMEO? That'll eat a lot of time.

There's actually one more activity which i'm not sure whether its a blessing in disguise or not. You know, me being busy and lazy, i didn't do much to the class deco recently. So PM and BI teacher can only lament the "unconducisiveness" everytime they enter the class. Surprisingly today, PM teacher decided to take some action. Using the name of laporan sahsiah (the most dreaded report book in history), she ask that we form groups of 4 or 5. Our assignment is to adopt a corner of the class and by friday, transform that area into something presentable. Wow.. It is unexpected that she would be the one to mobilise the entire class to embark on something like that. I've no qualms. Just that i also have to get my hands in the mud. But i guess its ok, right?

Looking back the past one and a half month, i reflect upon my friendship report book that i keep mentally. Again there are some changes, with some growing closer and some further apart. One thing i discovered is that friendship, no matter how strong it was in the past, will corrode if not maintained. The key is not exactly distance. I'm so far from my cat friend and i still think we are close. Rather, the key is communication. No relationship can survive without communication. Of course my friendship pattern has changed over the years. 4 years ago, i'm lop-sided towards the guys. At least now, i got a balance number of good friends from both sexes. It's kinda good. I'm making more new friends and easier too. Praise God for the change. I thank God that my best friends are still rather close to me but there someone whom i really want to include in my inner circle but have failed miserably despite more than 16 months of "effort". "Effort" because i didn't try hard enough. Yet I wonder if that is the main reason. I guess, patience is the key huh? The inclusion of this friend will make my inner-circle complete.

Time is certainly running out for me. In all aspects (friendship, evangelism, SPM, assignments, etc..). Keep praying for me!

Love.
This topic was discussed on Thursday during English. Ha ha.. you guessed it.. it was ignited by none other that that class chatterbox.

It all started when he asked teacher, how does the emotional thing happen between a boy and girl? He was wondering, how can such a coincidence where one will like the own will exist. Amazing isn't it?

And teacher answered, "Boy plus girl equals love", only for him to add: "And then break-up." This is when the discussion began.

So teacher began asking around for our opinions. She was wondering if we are as pessimistic as Ryner. Do we all think there is no true love in this world?

I can't really remember what are the responses of the few that answered but i'll try my best to tell. For one, ernie answered that love is a waste of time. Bernard said there is no true love. Willie said no comment. But as the question goes around, i was so hopeful that it will eventually come to me because i have lot's to share. But to no avail.

Yet what will i answer? I guess this is what i'll say.

Love is confusion, and complication especially at the starting stages. You will have uncertainty of whether one likes the other. Even when you are really in a relationship, it is not gonna be any easier. But even as love is confusing and complicated, i must say that love is the most beautiful thing (besides God's love that is).

Well, these are based on my experience only. .. ha ha.. and i'm not exactly in typing mood now, hence the boring narration.. sorry bout that... well... let me hit the climax before ending.

My main criteria of a wife:

1. Must love God more than me ( i can't risk the wrath of God on her)
2. Must love my parents (or i'll be torn between the two)
3. Must know how to cook (of course la.. or we'll be hungry..)
4. Must have character (i don't mind if you're not beautiful or bad-tempered.. but if you don't have a heart, please don't look for me.. ha ha..)
5. Must be family-oriented (you know la.. family comes before work)
6. Must know how to talk and listen to introverts like me (i don't want my home to be a library but if you talk too much.. err.. let's say it ain"t good)

God is good.

It's been ages since i added anything.. was really busy man... but i try to make it a point now to update at least once a week for your sake, especially my faraway friend..

The year started off missing two of my best friends. One went to Taiwan, the other to some more modern place called Banting. I was a little not use to it. For the past week or so, my confidence level has suddenly dropped so low, and i was so under a pressure of nowhere. I mean, what is so pressuring about being a class monitor, or worship coordinator or even doing a maths project for SEAMEO. Of course i can't deny the fact that pressure exist but the build-up over the last week was unbearable, I could have broken down any time.

My cat friend that went to the "modern" place was my prayer partner, my only. Just in case you didn't know, prayer is what sustains me during times of stress. When I feel bad, a lot of times i will sms as many faithful friends as possible to ask for prayer support but the best kind of prayer partner that i like is the one who can prayer for me and with me, though sms is also ok.
Fortunately, God gave me one more person whom i can pour out my all. So last Friday, i just poured out everything inside me. My worries, pressure, feelings. I talked for about 5 minutes non-stop, saying everything. How often will people hear me do that? But i realised in order to break free, i have to ask for support from a friend. Praise the Lord for friends!
This week, my "taiwan" friend has returned, offering me more hope and especially that i have more prayer warriors as my backbone. I also feel much more confident and relaxed now after my period of pouring out to my friends and God (during Saturday). Thank God for friends and fellowship with Him.
After those set-backs i made a point to be more joyful and confident. Oh ya, did i mention an incident? Nah... listen up then.. miraculously, on Friday night during my guitar lesson, my teacher who rarely speaks life issues talked about handling tough times and stressed. He talked about always thinking of big problems as small problems which i find so true now because with God, there is no big problems. Of course, he also talked about watching funny movies on You-tube to relieve stress but that is irrelevant here.
So I will do my best by God's grace upon me to not only be a shining light, but also to be a joyful light, not too dim and not too bright. As a frind says his pastor puts it, who would want to come to Jesus if all they see if some forlorn and depressed figure who claims he wants to righteous all the time? He's got a point. Righteousness is important but without joy that ain't Christianity. Joy that comes from God, love that is inspired by Him and righteousness that comes from faith is what makes Jesus the true way. Anything superficial must go.
I guess thatz all for now. By the way, i'm getting sick. So are people around me. Pray for us! Bye!

A new year, a new day, a new beginning as some may say. But really what's so new? Come to think of it, it's just "tomorrow, tommorow and tomorrow". I think I'll just get to the point.

This year, a lot of opportunities seemed to come my way even before the year began. To start it, I already have a science project on my hands, plus i'm P&W Coordinator now and most probably class monitor. Only God knows what other doors will He open or close. But opportunities make me afraid. In the Bible, sometimes opportunities aren't there as a blessing, rather it's temptation in it's sweetest form. Think of David when he could have killed Saul and stuff like that. I'm afraid that I can't handle praise that comes from success and fall like Saul did. I'm afraid I let pride and selfishness rule me. I'm afraid.. really am.. yes i can control my actions but somehow my emotions are out of reach.. it's strange but sometimes i feel arrogant although i do not want to be... Please pray for me that success will not mean glory to me but to God, that pride will not be my ultimate downfall. I end with my theme song this year.



In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope

Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord



Happy new year!

My favourite songs this Christmas. Enjoy!



We Are The Reason-David Meece

As little children we would dream of
Christmas morn and all the gifts and toys
we knew we'd find,
but we never realised a baby born one blessed
night gave us the greatest gift of our lives.


Chorus:
We are the reason that He gave His life,
we are the reason that He suffered and died,
to a world that was lost, He gave all He could
live to show us the reason to live.


Verse 2:
As the years go by we learned more
about gifts, giving of ourselves
And what that means.
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying
in the rain because of love, because of love.


Bridge:
I've finally found a reason for living,
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him,
In all that I do, every word that I say,
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him.


Chorus 2:
And we are the reason that He gave His life,
we are the reason that He suffered and died,
to a world that was lost,
He gave all He could give,
to show us the reason to live.
He is my reason to live.

©1980 Word Music, Inc. (a div. of Word Music Group, Inc.)
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
CCLI song #18682

Remember Me by Mark Schultz

Remember me In a Bible cracked and faded by the years
Remember me In a santuary filled with silent prayers
CHORUS:
And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder, Child of God
I'll remember you
Remember Me

Remember me
When the color of the sunset fills the sky
Remember me
When you pray and the tears of joy fall from your eyes

CHORUS

Remember me
When the children leave their Sunday school with smiles
Remember me
When they're old enough to teach
Old enough to preach
Old enough to leave

CHORUS

Age to age and heart to heart Child of wonder child of God
Remember me
Age to age and heart to heart Child of wonder child of God

Tagged

Games rules and regulations

Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tag. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.You must add the one who tagged you, then spread it to 8 people, let the game go on, returning the tag to sender is prohibited.



1. What was your childhood dream?
To have a lovely spouse, settle down, have money to spend and have a wonderful family.


2. Do you like rainy or a sunny days?
Sunshine or rain, I'm just the same. But I love rainy days because it is more bearable especially to sleep or nap.


3.Which colour is your favourite?
I love blue but only a certain type or so but i don't know what is it called. I like green and purple and orange and golden yellow and red and.. I think I like every colour but if it is to vote, let it be blue. Shalom.


4. If you've the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
"I love you just the way you are. "

5. Which place have you wanted to visit the most?
I would say the Islands of Malaysia. I really want to experience the beauty as they say of these beaches.

6. Which part of you do you hate most?
My brain. It functions too slow and most of the time, i do not know what is it thinking when it does what it does.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
"I will sing; I will praise". Three things: Sing, pray and sleep. Usually only when things are rather serious then i would tell others. So make sure you pay attention when i tell you something.

8. What are you most afraid of losing?
My relationship with my family and my friends i supposed. With my circle so small now, i can't bear being alone. But i guess nothing compares to losing my memory. It is when you are the most vulnerable. I can't imagine forgetting all i learnt about God and His love.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her or would you just keep it as a secret in your heart, observing by yourself?
Well, for now, I would say i will keep it to myself. It is unbearable but i know how incapable i am in managing the most complex human relationship in life. Maybe when i mature and is ready to take up such a huge responsibility then i will confess whatever the risk. For now, i'll just try my best to be the other person's guardian angel.

10. List out 3 good points of the one who tagged you.
1. Easy to talk to
2. Open
3. Nice falsetto

11. What are the requirements that you are hoping for in your other half?
Maybe i need to write another post on this

12.Till now, what moment do you regret the most?
The moments i fail to control myself, especially my temper. You probably won't see it because you are not my brother. I just hate it when not only i can't control my temper, i can't control what i say, or rather the lack of it.

13. What type of person do you hate most?
I hate people who only think of themselves and fail to consider other's plight. I also hate procrastinators also but i'm also one myself.

14. What is your ambition?
If my ambition should be based on what i'm good at, i would say none. Well, over the years, i have received comments on what i have potential in like speaking in public (only for those who heard though), singing, playing piano and even leadership. Yet because i'm not passionate enough to transform potential into goods, it remains just that: Potential. I like psychology and areas involving speaking though.

15. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
I don't believe there are bad people, even if i would use the adjective at times but i rather say misguided. Anyways, i suppose people who know what is wrong yet continue to do so for thier own sake.

16. If you can have 1 dream granted, what would it be?
To be wiser than Solomon? Tempting but i suppose is to have a whole Jesus-perspective of people and things. Wait... that's a desire... dream? To see all Christians singing passionately for Jesus everywhere they go.

17. What do you think is most important in your life?
Jesus. Without him, i won't be where i am now.

18. At what age do you wish to marry?
If my relatives were to ask me now, i would say 25. No specific reason but i feel it is better to marry young.. haha.. not so much about the fertility part though.. But most important is to consider whether i fulfill three important factors: Do I have God's blessing? Am I mature enough? Am I committed?

19. What do you want as your Christmas present?
All of Max Lucado's books if you please. Or a laptop will do.. how about a skateboard? Roller skate? Come on, I never played them before.

20. This is my question: What am I doing here? What is my purpose of life?
Honestly, i don't know.

Now, let me tag this to:

1. Joan Wong
2. Ambrose Wong
3. Dennis Ling
4. Ernest Soo
5. Florence Goh
6. Fiona Tan
7. Bernard Chieng
8. Lai Wei Yei

... not that they have or blog or anything.. even if they do, they don't know mine.. ha ha..