Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm Back

Yeap... I'm back.. after a long time.. initially I wanted to open a new blog but i guess it is necessary.. well, one more EST paper left and there goes Sijil Pesakit Mental..

Will be revamping the blog as much as i can soon to give it a new feel and will open it up from secrecy soon too. Want to make this a good way my friends can get connected with me.. more soon!

Because You Love Me

Love this song.. can be used as alternative to You Raise Me Up.. Gotto know it through America Got Talent.. enjoy!



For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Strange Dream

Well, it ain't strange as it sounds like but it was strange. You see, just before i slept, i had a lot of unanswered questions about an activity today. Who would be sending who? When should i go? I tried calling the person who would know but neither his handphone nor his house phone could be reached, so I slept with the matter on my mind.

In the middle of the night I woke up three times. I can't remember why except the time I needed to do my business. But I also remembered I that three times the person told me I won't need to go that early. It seemed so real but when I finally got up this morning, there is no proof that it ever happened, which by the way, could only happen through sms. He could not call because my phone is not switched on.

So I, awoken by a phone call, was worrying. I tried calling his house again but no one answered again. I was afraid that something might have happened. I waited awhile and called his hp. What a relief when I heard his voice. Phew! He said I only need to go later. Again to my relief because that meant that I can focus on serving God in church.

The question is, was that a dream from God?

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Facing My Giants

We all have giants in our lives don't we? It is unthinkable that a young boy David managed to overcome a 9-feet Goliath, but the fact is he did - and even that with a sling and a stone!

This two weeks are weks of facing my giants and I see them tumble down one by one. Praise the Lord! It started off with a choir retreat by my church choir. Initially i thought it was to be an ordinary seminar where I just listened and listened, period. Yet, it was not be. In fact the speaker from Singapore called it a workshop and that requires active participation from us. She called up my church choir for some master class. I was formerly from there so I tagged along. It nearly turned out to be a bad mistake because she asked us to sing a song we always practiced.. which whatever it was, I never did(I'm on a one-year leave). Luckily the tenors were to sing the melody. Phew! But I fumbled at the high notes. Kinda embarrassing although I didn't feel that way.

Sinve it was a four day retreat, I wondered if I should continue. I was in a dilema because, first, I'm not a choir member, second, I may be asked on certain occassions to sing a note or two and may fumble again and lastly, I got guitar lessons. I struggled. One want hand i feel I am missing a perfect opportunity in doing what i like most, that is to sing. On the other hand, I was afraid of the circumstance that surrounds it, especially the speaker who canm suddenly call you up to do something. I decided not to go. But the burning desire was too much. After calling up my guitar teacher to inform my last minute decision, I went.

First giant down.

Last Saturday, I went on my first outing in 17 years with my youth. Initially i also did not go but i decided to as it was my last time and because of the persuasion of my advisors. I had a great time. I had a breakthrough.

2nd giant down.

Just on Thursday, it was the choir practice for the national day celebrations in school. I was to conduct but know I do not treat it as a burden. Yes, I was in anxiety but no more so much that it cripples me.

3rd giant down.

This weeekend I will be having to play chess in a competition and helping in P&W at the same time. Not a very good decision. And adding on is my tame lost last night to someoone I stand a chance of beating, I feel more stressed. But I'm determined to press on. Even if I lose all my matches, I HAVE NO CONDEMNATION! Yes!

4th giant, in the name of Jesus you lose!

Next weekend for the first time I agreed without hesistation to help out in Sunday School with the dancing. You must be wondering what is Jeremy doing dancing right? Ha ha.. Well I am and it is a breakthrough. I know I can do it. Even if I fail, glory to God.

5th giant, in the name of Jesus I win again!

God's hand is bigger than mine, so are His ways higher than my ways. If a 9-feet tall giant is but a speck in His eyes, so shall the giant in my eyes!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Amazed

This is about my P&W in Youth last Saturday.

Well, this week, Green Road is having their Malam Kebudayaan as I was told that also supposedly coincided with the City Day Parade thing. So I expected very little people to come and very few on the worship team to be here.

So I mentally prepared for no drums and maybe not even piano for the night P&W. I was P&W leader for the record don't know how many times in 3 months because the rest are busy with something else. I wonder if people are getting bored with me already or not. Nevertheless, it was my day again and another priviledge to serve... but it became more than ordinary.

10.00p.m. Friday
"Jeremy, am I playing tomorrow?"
"You? I thougt you are going to the greenian thingy?"
"Err.. no.."
"Ok then.. do come.."

12.00p.m.
"Jeremy, do you need still need me to play guitar or drums? There is a change of plans tonight and I can make it."
"Erm.. ok.. do come.. practice at 525p.m."

1230p.m.
"Jerermy, am I playing the piano tonight?"
"I thought you were going to the Greenian thing also?"
"Err.. no.."
"Oh, great.. do come.."

..........................................................................................

In a space of less than 24 hours, musicians suddenly offered themselves. Usually I had to call them all just to remind them to get them. This time they just called me. Not one. Not 2. But 3!

At first I was wondering what God is doing in all this. What does he want me to do? Play more songs? Sing more difficult songs? What? I just couldn't figure it out.. A guitarist, a drummer and a pianist just suddenly showed up.

Just 2 hours before practice, my brother pulled out. For some reason he just didn;'t want to play anymore. Iv tried persuading him. I tried understanding him. I just didn't know why he just wouldn't play. I nearly sohuted at hime because he has a habit of just pulling out suddenly or setting conditions just to serve. I was a little pissed. If he doesn't know certain songs, I suggested he let the other pianist play that part. If it is because he is scared, I do offer a considerable amount of a safety net so that even if he makes a mistake he will be covered. But he just ain't playing.

So now I got a full band, minus my brother.

My bro went to another practice for the main sunday service.

10 minutes later, he came back.

I wondered why so I asked him. He said apparently the time for practice has changed and he was not informed.

Then it dawned upon me.

The practice has been shifted back an hour which means it wil end an hour later than normal. This also means the two of the original people who were to play would not be able to be back to practice on time as they are involved there.

I was touched... really touched..

God knew something I din. God knew all along about the time change for practice. God knew that by the time I found out it would have been too late. I would only be left with a newbie guitarist whom later i found out could only play two songs of the five and a bassist. Have God not sent this 3 special people, I would not have made it on time that night for the Praise and Worship. Yes, it still wasn't the Spirit and passionate worship I wanted but it was the most special. The drummer who often was critized for his bad rhythm did good that night too.

I'm in awe. I only can say thanks in my heart for what God has done. He prepared a umbrella before a storm. Thank you Lord!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Why I wanted Prayer Before Exams to continue.

I know many would feel very irritated if we wanted to pray before exams. In fact I believe many don;t even see the need as it actually robs them of time for literal last minute revision. After all prayer doesn't work right?

The fact is, they prayed prayed AND prayed and results is the same with them crying i frustration every time a test ends. Some even choose not to go to church because they believe that studying at home is more effective. After all ,you can worship alone in private right? What does the church have to offer? Boring sermons and hypocrisy?!!

Sad.
That's all I can say.
If you remember well, when we were in the afternoon session we prayed before every semester exams and even non-Christians join us!! What a testimony!
The fact is Christianity was once alive and powerful till busyness and a lack of faith stops it. I do agree about the argument that why pray when nobody wants to. But why do people not want to?

Yes I rather be in the presence of 3 people whose hearts are set on God that 100 who feels the longer the prayer is the more waste of time. But I do admit lon prayers especially if it sounds like ritual recital makes me frustrated too.

Our good friends sis is critically ill. What are we doing about it? If there is a better time to pray it is now! Why? Because prayer, especially corporate prsyer glorifies God. Corporate prayer moves God's hands faster because it is a public show of our faith though some may use it to show how good they are. I keep thinking.. what if we gather publicly and pray one day for our friends sis, crying our hearts out to God asking for healing and he does heal. What a testimony! This will be great encouragement to the body of believers and non alike! What if it fails? Shall we lose faith and face? The fact is, we are not trying.

Another thing is that by SPM, I believe everyone will be asking when is the next prayer session. As if God only helps during big things like SPM and not during trial exams! What is the difference?!

Sorry but I just can't help it. I have to have this outburst. I feel like I'm a hypocrite for saying all this because at times I like that too but I REALLY REALLY want to see more of God and more of Christianity in action.

I believe Lord, open my eyes

I believe you're my healer.
...ANd by His stripes we are healed..

I just wonder.. why GOd will not show up even just once.. or is it that something is wrong with me. . As I watch the video clip below, I know that God is still moving in this world.. Yet I wonder how is he working here.

I believe that GOd is the healer. I believe God is powerful and awesome but somehow I only can say this by faith and not by heart. I ertainly don't agree it takes seeing to believe but how about believing to see? When will revival come here? But I guess the main question is, how is thestate of my heart now?

I just know if people were to ask me where is your God, I would not know how to precisely answer.
Lord open the the eyes of my heart.