Well, it ain't strange as it sounds like but it was strange. You see, just before i slept, i had a lot of unanswered questions about an activity today. Who would be sending who? When should i go? I tried calling the person who would know but neither his handphone nor his house phone could be reached, so I slept with the matter on my mind.
In the middle of the night I woke up three times. I can't remember why except the time I needed to do my business. But I also remembered I that three times the person told me I won't need to go that early. It seemed so real but when I finally got up this morning, there is no proof that it ever happened, which by the way, could only happen through sms. He could not call because my phone is not switched on.
So I, awoken by a phone call, was worrying. I tried calling his house again but no one answered again. I was afraid that something might have happened. I waited awhile and called his hp. What a relief when I heard his voice. Phew! He said I only need to go later. Again to my relief because that meant that I can focus on serving God in church.
The question is, was that a dream from God?
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Facing My Giants
We all have giants in our lives don't we? It is unthinkable that a young boy David managed to overcome a 9-feet Goliath, but the fact is he did - and even that with a sling and a stone!
This two weeks are weks of facing my giants and I see them tumble down one by one. Praise the Lord! It started off with a choir retreat by my church choir. Initially i thought it was to be an ordinary seminar where I just listened and listened, period. Yet, it was not be. In fact the speaker from Singapore called it a workshop and that requires active participation from us. She called up my church choir for some master class. I was formerly from there so I tagged along. It nearly turned out to be a bad mistake because she asked us to sing a song we always practiced.. which whatever it was, I never did(I'm on a one-year leave). Luckily the tenors were to sing the melody. Phew! But I fumbled at the high notes. Kinda embarrassing although I didn't feel that way.
Sinve it was a four day retreat, I wondered if I should continue. I was in a dilema because, first, I'm not a choir member, second, I may be asked on certain occassions to sing a note or two and may fumble again and lastly, I got guitar lessons. I struggled. One want hand i feel I am missing a perfect opportunity in doing what i like most, that is to sing. On the other hand, I was afraid of the circumstance that surrounds it, especially the speaker who canm suddenly call you up to do something. I decided not to go. But the burning desire was too much. After calling up my guitar teacher to inform my last minute decision, I went.
First giant down.
Last Saturday, I went on my first outing in 17 years with my youth. Initially i also did not go but i decided to as it was my last time and because of the persuasion of my advisors. I had a great time. I had a breakthrough.
2nd giant down.
Just on Thursday, it was the choir practice for the national day celebrations in school. I was to conduct but know I do not treat it as a burden. Yes, I was in anxiety but no more so much that it cripples me.
3rd giant down.
This weeekend I will be having to play chess in a competition and helping in P&W at the same time. Not a very good decision. And adding on is my tame lost last night to someoone I stand a chance of beating, I feel more stressed. But I'm determined to press on. Even if I lose all my matches, I HAVE NO CONDEMNATION! Yes!
4th giant, in the name of Jesus you lose!
Next weekend for the first time I agreed without hesistation to help out in Sunday School with the dancing. You must be wondering what is Jeremy doing dancing right? Ha ha.. Well I am and it is a breakthrough. I know I can do it. Even if I fail, glory to God.
5th giant, in the name of Jesus I win again!
God's hand is bigger than mine, so are His ways higher than my ways. If a 9-feet tall giant is but a speck in His eyes, so shall the giant in my eyes!
This two weeks are weks of facing my giants and I see them tumble down one by one. Praise the Lord! It started off with a choir retreat by my church choir. Initially i thought it was to be an ordinary seminar where I just listened and listened, period. Yet, it was not be. In fact the speaker from Singapore called it a workshop and that requires active participation from us. She called up my church choir for some master class. I was formerly from there so I tagged along. It nearly turned out to be a bad mistake because she asked us to sing a song we always practiced.. which whatever it was, I never did(I'm on a one-year leave). Luckily the tenors were to sing the melody. Phew! But I fumbled at the high notes. Kinda embarrassing although I didn't feel that way.
Sinve it was a four day retreat, I wondered if I should continue. I was in a dilema because, first, I'm not a choir member, second, I may be asked on certain occassions to sing a note or two and may fumble again and lastly, I got guitar lessons. I struggled. One want hand i feel I am missing a perfect opportunity in doing what i like most, that is to sing. On the other hand, I was afraid of the circumstance that surrounds it, especially the speaker who canm suddenly call you up to do something. I decided not to go. But the burning desire was too much. After calling up my guitar teacher to inform my last minute decision, I went.
First giant down.
Last Saturday, I went on my first outing in 17 years with my youth. Initially i also did not go but i decided to as it was my last time and because of the persuasion of my advisors. I had a great time. I had a breakthrough.
2nd giant down.
Just on Thursday, it was the choir practice for the national day celebrations in school. I was to conduct but know I do not treat it as a burden. Yes, I was in anxiety but no more so much that it cripples me.
3rd giant down.
This weeekend I will be having to play chess in a competition and helping in P&W at the same time. Not a very good decision. And adding on is my tame lost last night to someoone I stand a chance of beating, I feel more stressed. But I'm determined to press on. Even if I lose all my matches, I HAVE NO CONDEMNATION! Yes!
4th giant, in the name of Jesus you lose!
Next weekend for the first time I agreed without hesistation to help out in Sunday School with the dancing. You must be wondering what is Jeremy doing dancing right? Ha ha.. Well I am and it is a breakthrough. I know I can do it. Even if I fail, glory to God.
5th giant, in the name of Jesus I win again!
God's hand is bigger than mine, so are His ways higher than my ways. If a 9-feet tall giant is but a speck in His eyes, so shall the giant in my eyes!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Amazed
This is about my P&W in Youth last Saturday.
Well, this week, Green Road is having their Malam Kebudayaan as I was told that also supposedly coincided with the City Day Parade thing. So I expected very little people to come and very few on the worship team to be here.
So I mentally prepared for no drums and maybe not even piano for the night P&W. I was P&W leader for the record don't know how many times in 3 months because the rest are busy with something else. I wonder if people are getting bored with me already or not. Nevertheless, it was my day again and another priviledge to serve... but it became more than ordinary.
10.00p.m. Friday
"Jeremy, am I playing tomorrow?"
"You? I thougt you are going to the greenian thingy?"
"Err.. no.."
"Ok then.. do come.."
12.00p.m.
"Jeremy, do you need still need me to play guitar or drums? There is a change of plans tonight and I can make it."
"Erm.. ok.. do come.. practice at 525p.m."
1230p.m.
"Jerermy, am I playing the piano tonight?"
"I thought you were going to the Greenian thing also?"
"Err.. no.."
"Oh, great.. do come.."
..........................................................................................
In a space of less than 24 hours, musicians suddenly offered themselves. Usually I had to call them all just to remind them to get them. This time they just called me. Not one. Not 2. But 3!
At first I was wondering what God is doing in all this. What does he want me to do? Play more songs? Sing more difficult songs? What? I just couldn't figure it out.. A guitarist, a drummer and a pianist just suddenly showed up.
Just 2 hours before practice, my brother pulled out. For some reason he just didn;'t want to play anymore. Iv tried persuading him. I tried understanding him. I just didn't know why he just wouldn't play. I nearly sohuted at hime because he has a habit of just pulling out suddenly or setting conditions just to serve. I was a little pissed. If he doesn't know certain songs, I suggested he let the other pianist play that part. If it is because he is scared, I do offer a considerable amount of a safety net so that even if he makes a mistake he will be covered. But he just ain't playing.
So now I got a full band, minus my brother.
My bro went to another practice for the main sunday service.
10 minutes later, he came back.
I wondered why so I asked him. He said apparently the time for practice has changed and he was not informed.
Then it dawned upon me.
The practice has been shifted back an hour which means it wil end an hour later than normal. This also means the two of the original people who were to play would not be able to be back to practice on time as they are involved there.
I was touched... really touched..
God knew something I din. God knew all along about the time change for practice. God knew that by the time I found out it would have been too late. I would only be left with a newbie guitarist whom later i found out could only play two songs of the five and a bassist. Have God not sent this 3 special people, I would not have made it on time that night for the Praise and Worship. Yes, it still wasn't the Spirit and passionate worship I wanted but it was the most special. The drummer who often was critized for his bad rhythm did good that night too.
I'm in awe. I only can say thanks in my heart for what God has done. He prepared a umbrella before a storm. Thank you Lord!
Well, this week, Green Road is having their Malam Kebudayaan as I was told that also supposedly coincided with the City Day Parade thing. So I expected very little people to come and very few on the worship team to be here.
So I mentally prepared for no drums and maybe not even piano for the night P&W. I was P&W leader for the record don't know how many times in 3 months because the rest are busy with something else. I wonder if people are getting bored with me already or not. Nevertheless, it was my day again and another priviledge to serve... but it became more than ordinary.
10.00p.m. Friday
"Jeremy, am I playing tomorrow?"
"You? I thougt you are going to the greenian thingy?"
"Err.. no.."
"Ok then.. do come.."
12.00p.m.
"Jeremy, do you need still need me to play guitar or drums? There is a change of plans tonight and I can make it."
"Erm.. ok.. do come.. practice at 525p.m."
1230p.m.
"Jerermy, am I playing the piano tonight?"
"I thought you were going to the Greenian thing also?"
"Err.. no.."
"Oh, great.. do come.."
..........................................................................................
In a space of less than 24 hours, musicians suddenly offered themselves. Usually I had to call them all just to remind them to get them. This time they just called me. Not one. Not 2. But 3!
At first I was wondering what God is doing in all this. What does he want me to do? Play more songs? Sing more difficult songs? What? I just couldn't figure it out.. A guitarist, a drummer and a pianist just suddenly showed up.
Just 2 hours before practice, my brother pulled out. For some reason he just didn;'t want to play anymore. Iv tried persuading him. I tried understanding him. I just didn't know why he just wouldn't play. I nearly sohuted at hime because he has a habit of just pulling out suddenly or setting conditions just to serve. I was a little pissed. If he doesn't know certain songs, I suggested he let the other pianist play that part. If it is because he is scared, I do offer a considerable amount of a safety net so that even if he makes a mistake he will be covered. But he just ain't playing.
So now I got a full band, minus my brother.
My bro went to another practice for the main sunday service.
10 minutes later, he came back.
I wondered why so I asked him. He said apparently the time for practice has changed and he was not informed.
Then it dawned upon me.
The practice has been shifted back an hour which means it wil end an hour later than normal. This also means the two of the original people who were to play would not be able to be back to practice on time as they are involved there.
I was touched... really touched..
God knew something I din. God knew all along about the time change for practice. God knew that by the time I found out it would have been too late. I would only be left with a newbie guitarist whom later i found out could only play two songs of the five and a bassist. Have God not sent this 3 special people, I would not have made it on time that night for the Praise and Worship. Yes, it still wasn't the Spirit and passionate worship I wanted but it was the most special. The drummer who often was critized for his bad rhythm did good that night too.
I'm in awe. I only can say thanks in my heart for what God has done. He prepared a umbrella before a storm. Thank you Lord!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Why I wanted Prayer Before Exams to continue.
I know many would feel very irritated if we wanted to pray before exams. In fact I believe many don;t even see the need as it actually robs them of time for literal last minute revision. After all prayer doesn't work right?
The fact is, they prayed prayed AND prayed and results is the same with them crying i frustration every time a test ends. Some even choose not to go to church because they believe that studying at home is more effective. After all ,you can worship alone in private right? What does the church have to offer? Boring sermons and hypocrisy?!!
Sad.
That's all I can say.
If you remember well, when we were in the afternoon session we prayed before every semester exams and even non-Christians join us!! What a testimony!
The fact is Christianity was once alive and powerful till busyness and a lack of faith stops it. I do agree about the argument that why pray when nobody wants to. But why do people not want to?
Yes I rather be in the presence of 3 people whose hearts are set on God that 100 who feels the longer the prayer is the more waste of time. But I do admit lon prayers especially if it sounds like ritual recital makes me frustrated too.
Our good friends sis is critically ill. What are we doing about it? If there is a better time to pray it is now! Why? Because prayer, especially corporate prsyer glorifies God. Corporate prayer moves God's hands faster because it is a public show of our faith though some may use it to show how good they are. I keep thinking.. what if we gather publicly and pray one day for our friends sis, crying our hearts out to God asking for healing and he does heal. What a testimony! This will be great encouragement to the body of believers and non alike! What if it fails? Shall we lose faith and face? The fact is, we are not trying.
Another thing is that by SPM, I believe everyone will be asking when is the next prayer session. As if God only helps during big things like SPM and not during trial exams! What is the difference?!
Sorry but I just can't help it. I have to have this outburst. I feel like I'm a hypocrite for saying all this because at times I like that too but I REALLY REALLY want to see more of God and more of Christianity in action.
The fact is, they prayed prayed AND prayed and results is the same with them crying i frustration every time a test ends. Some even choose not to go to church because they believe that studying at home is more effective. After all ,you can worship alone in private right? What does the church have to offer? Boring sermons and hypocrisy?!!
Sad.
That's all I can say.
If you remember well, when we were in the afternoon session we prayed before every semester exams and even non-Christians join us!! What a testimony!
The fact is Christianity was once alive and powerful till busyness and a lack of faith stops it. I do agree about the argument that why pray when nobody wants to. But why do people not want to?
Yes I rather be in the presence of 3 people whose hearts are set on God that 100 who feels the longer the prayer is the more waste of time. But I do admit lon prayers especially if it sounds like ritual recital makes me frustrated too.
Our good friends sis is critically ill. What are we doing about it? If there is a better time to pray it is now! Why? Because prayer, especially corporate prsyer glorifies God. Corporate prayer moves God's hands faster because it is a public show of our faith though some may use it to show how good they are. I keep thinking.. what if we gather publicly and pray one day for our friends sis, crying our hearts out to God asking for healing and he does heal. What a testimony! This will be great encouragement to the body of believers and non alike! What if it fails? Shall we lose faith and face? The fact is, we are not trying.
Another thing is that by SPM, I believe everyone will be asking when is the next prayer session. As if God only helps during big things like SPM and not during trial exams! What is the difference?!
Sorry but I just can't help it. I have to have this outburst. I feel like I'm a hypocrite for saying all this because at times I like that too but I REALLY REALLY want to see more of God and more of Christianity in action.
I believe Lord, open my eyes
I believe you're my healer.
...ANd by His stripes we are healed..
I just wonder.. why GOd will not show up even just once.. or is it that something is wrong with me. . As I watch the video clip below, I know that God is still moving in this world.. Yet I wonder how is he working here.
I believe that GOd is the healer. I believe God is powerful and awesome but somehow I only can say this by faith and not by heart. I ertainly don't agree it takes seeing to believe but how about believing to see? When will revival come here? But I guess the main question is, how is thestate of my heart now?
I just know if people were to ask me where is your God, I would not know how to precisely answer.
Lord open the the eyes of my heart.
...ANd by His stripes we are healed..
I just wonder.. why GOd will not show up even just once.. or is it that something is wrong with me. . As I watch the video clip below, I know that God is still moving in this world.. Yet I wonder how is he working here.
I believe that GOd is the healer. I believe God is powerful and awesome but somehow I only can say this by faith and not by heart. I ertainly don't agree it takes seeing to believe but how about believing to see? When will revival come here? But I guess the main question is, how is thestate of my heart now?
I just know if people were to ask me where is your God, I would not know how to precisely answer.
Lord open the the eyes of my heart.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
July is here! And it smells like it is going to be busy.
First stop: Sports day 3-4 July.
Hopes: Can get my much needed kk marks. Can do my best.
2nd stop: Study! study! study!
Hopes: God is warning me more than 10 times through at least 5 different ways to start studying. Jeremy! Wake Up AND STUDY!!!
3rd stop: Trial Exam 1
Hopes: This is not going to be as easy as the exam in the 1st semester and may have a bearing on my immediate future.. Target: 7a1, 3 A2.. Well, considering that my science subjects have never gotten A, this is a realistic target.
First stop: Sports day 3-4 July.
Hopes: Can get my much needed kk marks. Can do my best.
2nd stop: Study! study! study!
Hopes: God is warning me more than 10 times through at least 5 different ways to start studying. Jeremy! Wake Up AND STUDY!!!
3rd stop: Trial Exam 1
Hopes: This is not going to be as easy as the exam in the 1st semester and may have a bearing on my immediate future.. Target: 7a1, 3 A2.. Well, considering that my science subjects have never gotten A, this is a realistic target.
Friday, June 20, 2008
My First Loss
He died.
I can't believe my eyes when I read that he died.
Could I have done more? Could I have made a difference if I tried harder? The fact that I felt I could made his death even harder.
It was that Saturday night in church. He seemed different. He wasn't his jolly and funny self. If anything, he was strange and weird. In fact, he looked as if he has been demon-possessed. Usually he speaks chinese although sometimes he spoke in English as it was after all an English Youth. But this time he spoke all English and with a British accent. A strange one. My first glimpse of him that night, he was jumping on the Bible and tearing it into pieces. I was shocked. I thought he was fooling around although that was over the line.
I proceeded with my routine work in church. I thought he was bored and was just passing his time but he was acting so weird, he was kinda frightening us. At one time he gave me something to eat, saying something like this is the last time I can eat with him because he was going somewhere. I thought he finally is going to further his studies.
But he kept acting strangely so I decided to talk to him. I asked him to walked with me circling the church.
Yet, as I talked to him, it seemed like he wasn't even thinking straight. A lot of my questions went either diverted or unanswered. In fact when I asked about God he seemed a little insulting or at least that is what I can recall. I decided I'm not in a position to help him because he just wouldn't open up. So I continued on with my work especially after the advisors came.
Towards te end of MYF, I decided to give one last try. I wrote a note to him to encourage him, saying that i support him no matter what he is going through and that i will always be a friend and asked him to never insult God no matter what.
I last remembered him keeping the chairs calmly after reading my note.
That was 3 months ago.
Just today I got news he died. He died on 1 Jun. I still don't know what is the cause of death but deep inside I pray it is not because of suicide and that he died a Christian.
Life is brief isn't it? One moment you see me, the next I'm gone. But rejoice if I went to live with the Lord. But mourn if I don't. ("i" is a general term not referring to me). He is my first loss. Believe it or not, still now, the biggest death that I experienced personally was the death of a guinea pig.
The lesson here is, if you see someone suddenly acting strange or look really down, do not even hesistate to go near him/her a offer Christ's hand of love. Who knows, it may be your last chance to make a difference.
I can't believe my eyes when I read that he died.
Could I have done more? Could I have made a difference if I tried harder? The fact that I felt I could made his death even harder.
It was that Saturday night in church. He seemed different. He wasn't his jolly and funny self. If anything, he was strange and weird. In fact, he looked as if he has been demon-possessed. Usually he speaks chinese although sometimes he spoke in English as it was after all an English Youth. But this time he spoke all English and with a British accent. A strange one. My first glimpse of him that night, he was jumping on the Bible and tearing it into pieces. I was shocked. I thought he was fooling around although that was over the line.
I proceeded with my routine work in church. I thought he was bored and was just passing his time but he was acting so weird, he was kinda frightening us. At one time he gave me something to eat, saying something like this is the last time I can eat with him because he was going somewhere. I thought he finally is going to further his studies.
But he kept acting strangely so I decided to talk to him. I asked him to walked with me circling the church.
Yet, as I talked to him, it seemed like he wasn't even thinking straight. A lot of my questions went either diverted or unanswered. In fact when I asked about God he seemed a little insulting or at least that is what I can recall. I decided I'm not in a position to help him because he just wouldn't open up. So I continued on with my work especially after the advisors came.
Towards te end of MYF, I decided to give one last try. I wrote a note to him to encourage him, saying that i support him no matter what he is going through and that i will always be a friend and asked him to never insult God no matter what.
I last remembered him keeping the chairs calmly after reading my note.
That was 3 months ago.
Just today I got news he died. He died on 1 Jun. I still don't know what is the cause of death but deep inside I pray it is not because of suicide and that he died a Christian.
Life is brief isn't it? One moment you see me, the next I'm gone. But rejoice if I went to live with the Lord. But mourn if I don't. ("i" is a general term not referring to me). He is my first loss. Believe it or not, still now, the biggest death that I experienced personally was the death of a guinea pig.
The lesson here is, if you see someone suddenly acting strange or look really down, do not even hesistate to go near him/her a offer Christ's hand of love. Who knows, it may be your last chance to make a difference.
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